Things I want in my future husband

Written by Crystal J. Pollard on July 28, 2005- 2 weeks before meeting my current husband. (Based on my struggles with my THEN husband of 3 years.)

(x's are things I wish my current husband would work on- and stars are placed next to my current husband's attributes on 11/14/10- 5 years and 3 months after we met. oh, and the ones in italics below- are what my EX WERE, everything else HE WASN'T.)

1. I want my husband to be ambitious. *
2. I want my husband to be sincere. x & *
3. I want my husband to love his family. *
4. I want my husband to want a family of his own. *
5. I want my husband to sing to me as well as sing with me. x
6. I want my husband to dance with me especially in public. x
7. I want my husband to be willing to do anything JUST to be with me. x
8. I want my husband to love kids. *
9. I want my husband to like being out doors. x & *
10. I want my husband to like dogs. *
11. I want my husband to take me out on dates. x
12. I want my husband to be in good shape. x
13. I want my husband to make healthy food choices. x
14. I want my husband to have big dreams. *
15. I want my husband to have goals. *
16. I want my husband to be romantic. x
17. I want my husband to be faithful. *
18. I want my husband to be energetic about life. x
19. I want my husband to get along with my family. x & *
20. I want my husband to respect his body. (No drugs or alcohol.) *
21. I want my husband to willing to move OUT OF TUCSON. *
22. I want my husband to get along with his family. *
23. I want my husband to like traveling. *
24. I want my husband to be comfortable with change. x
25. I want my husband to be willing to change diapers. *
26. I want my husband to be a positive thinker. x
27. I want my husband to understand my point of view.x
28. I want my husband to be a handy man. *
29. I want my husband to know a lot if not some things about cars.*
30. I want my husband to not be controlling. x
31. I want my husband to be easy to talk to. x
32. I want my husband to hold me when I’m crying. x
33. I want my husband to take care of me when I’m sick. x & *
34. I want my husband to get off work early just to be with me. x
35. I want my husband to bring in groceries after I go shopping. *
36. I want my husband to do dishes once in a while. x
37. I want my husband to do laundry once in a while. *
38. I want my husband to clean up after himself. *
39. I want my husband to challenge me to be my best. x
40. I want my husband to save money for the future. x
41. I want my husband to have a productive hobby. x & *
42. I want my husband to have his own friends. *
43. I want my husband to have a college degree in something that he enjoys. *
44. I want my husband to be calm in stressful situations. x & *
45. I want my husband to be affectionate and make out with me once in awhile. x & *
46. I want my husband to make me breakfast in bed on my birthday and treat me like a princess once a year. x
47. I want my husband to give me a mother’s day gift (even if we don’t have kids.)*
48. I want my husband to have a photo of his mother in his house. x & *
49. I want my husband to have his own place when I meet him for the first time. x
50. I want my husband to give me deep and meaningful conversations. x
51. I want my husband to give me eye contact EVERYTIME we’re talking.x
52. I want my husband to open doors for me and stand up when I approach the table. x
53. I want my husband to love and hate Television as much as I do. *
54. I want my husband to have the want to be happy rather than the need to be right. x
55. I want my husband to have something in common (hobby wise) with me. x
56. I want my husband to have a sister that he cares about/close to. x
57. I want my husband to have a brother that he cares about/close to. x
58. I want my husband to get excited to BE WITH ME no matter what we’re doing. x
59. I want my husband to be spontaneous, like me. x
60. I want my husband to be planned, like me. *
61. I want my husband to not swear like a sailor, but casually like I do. *
62. I want my husband to be able to hear my voice and smile. x
63. I want my husband to be willing to see a doctor at least once a year. *
64. I want my husband to be willing to see a dentist at least every 6 months. *
65. I want my husband to be willing to do some cooking. *
66. I want my husband to be willing to try my cooking. *
67. I want my husband to be open minded to trying new foods and restaurants. x & *
68. I want my husband to love his car or be working on it to improve it. *
69. I want my husband to work a normal set of work hours unless we’re struggling. *
70. I want my husband to work more than one job IF EVER NEEDED. x
71. I want my husband to have a past relationship that lasted for more than 2 years. *
72. I want my husband to love a variety of music. *
73. I want my husband to like or at least tolerate musicals and sappy chick flicks.x
74. I want my husband to play an instrument. *
75. I want my husband to not care about my looks, but call me beautiful all the time. x
76. I want my husband and me to own a big house together. *
77. I want my husband to be willing to wear a suit and tie. x
78. I want my husband to be a good listener. *
79. I want my husband to be a good negotiator and be willing to bend. x
80. I want my husband to like Disney Land and Disney World. x
81. I want my husband to never pressure me into anything I wasn’t ready for. *
82. I want my husband to treat me like a lady. x
83. I want my husband to treat me with respect and never hit me (or anyone else.) x
84. I want my husband to always do the driving when were out. (Unless I ask to.) *
85. I want my husband to share his money but keep a separate account for himself.*
86. I want my husband to assist me with paying the bills. *
87. I want my husband to go swimming with me once in a while. x
88. I want my husband to be able to take care of things when I can’t. *
89. I want my husband to know what it’s like to loose someone close.*
90. I want my husband to trust me when I’m not with him at all times. x
91. I want my husband to know how to control his anger. x & *
92. I want my husband to be productive with his everyday life. x
93. I want my husband to never allow us to go to bed angry. x
94. I want my husband to talk to me WHENEVER I need to talk. *
95. I want my husband to value me more than SLEEP, more than WORK, and more than ANYTHING ELSE. *
96. I want to catch my husband starring at me sometimes admiring the love he has for me.x
97. I want my husband to assist my family with whatever he can, when ever he can. *
98. I want my husband to wait on me hand on foot, (and I to him.) x
99. I want my husband to call me to say I love you every once in awhile. *
100. I want my husband to kiss me before we part and every time we greet each other. x
101. I want my husband to never get mad for little, dumb things x
102. I want my husband to have a positive frame of mind x
103. I want my husband to notices the nice things about EVERYTHING x
104. I want my husband to talk nicely and calmly to me, our children and other family x & *
105. I want my husband to be open minded enough to admit when he’s wrong. x
106. I want my husband to be able to apologize when he is wrong. x
107. I want my husband to be social and not withdrawn or dominate the conversation. x
108. I want my husband to listen to what I’m saying and not what he assumes I’m sayingx
109. I want my husband to not be so defensive when I give him feedback. x
110. I want my husband to be genuinely involved with our children’s lives and care about them. *
111. I want my husband to never scream at our kids, but will talk to them with respect. x & *
112. I want my husband to be aware of his personal hygiene. *
113. I want my husband to be apart of the family no matter who’s there or what we’re doing. x
114. I want my husband to make the best of every family get together. x & *
115. I want my husband to take making love very seriously and give me affection afterward too. x
116. I want my husband to help me work on my road rage as well his own. x
117. I want my husband to have ambition and put it to work. x
118. I want my husband to not need anyone to nag him to do anything. x
119. I want my husband to be able to pack and dress for himself. *
120. I want my husband to not watch TV when there is something more important to do.x
121. I want my husband to be able to value his word and won’t postpone his commitments.x
122. I want my husband to be honest and have integrity. x
123. I want my husband to be the first up in the morning and is on top of things he needs to do. *
124. I want my husband who truly is my best friend and tries to be in tune with my emotions. x
125. I want my husband to be able to listen without judgment or argument.x
126. I want my husband to surprise me with small tokens of affection. *
127. I want my husband to take me out at least once a week.x
128. I want my husband to treat me as an equal to him. x
129. I want my husband to stand up for me if anyone disrespects me.x
130. I want my husband to never give me unnecessary guilt trips. x
131. I want my husband to allow me to explain my thoughts when I make a decision he doesn’t agree with. x
132. I want my husband to allow me to think for myself. (non-manipulating.)x
133. I want my husband to brush his teeth regularly. x
134. I want my husband to never make fun at me (unless I’m laughing too.)x
135. I want my husband to be as passionate for life, love and a career as I am x & *
136. I want my husband to be always trying to better himself, and see’s life as a constant journey x
137. I want my husband to never lie, cheat steal or have the desire to kill.x
138. I want my husband to be able to express his anger in healthy forms of expression; i.e.: talking, crying etc x
139. I want my husband to be showing improvement daily, whether it’s with me or him. x
140. I want my husband to enjoy holidays and likes to celebrate them with his family.x
141. I want my husband to be willing to help me with holiday gift wrapping and shopping x
142. I want my husband be open minded when I’m concerned about our relationship. x
143. I want my husband to be willing to go to marriage counseling if needed. *
144. I want my husband to appreciate the world and be willing to travel outside of United States. x
145. I want my husband to give in to an argument, just for the sake of “letting it go.” x
146. I want my husband to help me clean up after our pets as well as our kids. *
147. I want my husband to be willing to volunteer for a good cause. x
148. I want my husband to buy me roses once in a while. *
149. I want my husband to have proposed to me romantically and was willing to have a big wedding. *
150. I want my future husband to read this list and be WILLING to work on these because HE LOVES ME! x

My Own Goals & Wants

(written sometime before May 2007)

I have no idea when I wrote this or WHY I was feeling this way- but it's always good to come back to, especially in times like these.

:'o(

1. I don’t ever want to feel like I HAVE to have a man in order to make me happy.
2. I want to know and feel confident that I can take care of myself financially.
3. I want to be kind and courteous to others, familiar or strange.
4. I don’t want to steal from anyone or anyplace ever again.
5. I want to eat healthy foods and make healthier food choices most of the time.
6. I want to exercise regularly and be in shape.
7. I want to be open to other people’s ideas and suggestions and not be so controlling.
8. I want to be known for my dependability and stability.
9. I want to be committed to my agreements that I make to my friends, family and customers.
10. I don’t ever want to be wishy washy or indecisive.
11. I respect my body by not using drugs and abusing alcohol.
12. I like to sing and I want to feel confident enough to sing out loud more often.
13. I want to be more friendly and strike up a conversation with anyone at anytime.
14. I want to be 100% honest with not just with others, but also with myself most of all.
15. I want to be a mom, and I want to be a good mom to my kids.
16. I want to think on the positive side of things rather than the negative.
17. I don’t want to nag or complain about stupid things.
18. I want to have an immaculate house and know how to keep it that way.
19. I never want to cheat on my husband.
20. I never want to leave my husband unless he tells me to leave- and Violence will NOT be accepted.