Wahoo! $6.00

Today, I spent the better part of my day working hard for JUST a few bucks. Yup, hours and hours focused to make only $6.00.

I knew it wasn't going to be much, but my terrible habit of attention to detail wouldn't let me quit.

You see, I found a picture on the Internet of some Polar Express tickets. Knowing I could never re-sell the tickets at face value just by printing them, I thought it would be a neat idea to create invitations out of them, or perhaps scrapbook mementos.

I have had a handful of people interested in these tickets so I'm only selling them for $4.00 for the 1st sheet and 1.50 for each sheet after that.

But the darn printer won't line them up perfectly (2 sided) and so I had to print, cut and then adjust, print, cut and then re-adjust one last time, reprint one last time and cut one last time and even though they STILL weren't 'perfect' I knew I had spent more than enough time on them and they did look 'decent'.

I'm embarrassed to put my name on them, honestly- but as soon as Jim got home, I drove out in the rain with 2 screaming toddlers. I met my customer in the parking lot of Target- she was young, skinny, petite, pretty... all those things you can't help but notice when you feel so old, fat and ugly. She greeted me with a smile and I did my best to make small chit chat but was nervous that she wouldn't want to 'buy' my work.

She handed me the $6.00 and then I jumped back into my car. I knew right away what I wanted to spend my money on.

Matthew & Brooklyn.

My poor kids have been couped up in the house for MONTHS. No friends, no playgrounds, no fun time. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. My mother-in-law has been taking us out to McDonald's once a week. It gets me out of the house and some normal adult time. Besides, the kids love to climb the play equipment and spend 'yummy' time with Gramma!

So, I did my own little special one-on-one time with my kids. I spent my $6.00 on an iced coffee for me- and got them 1 small french fries and two cookies. They had a blast getting that extra time to play before bedtime. I took them to go potty and we went home.

Ya, even though the $6 that I worked so hard for is gone, so is that day. The day I ignored my kids to make $6.

Although- it does make me feel better to know that I spent that money on them in the end. (oh, and ya- that Iced Coffee was for me, I DID reward myself with a $2.50 drink.)

Perhaps next time I'll shoot for $20.00 :o)

This year-end status APP thing takes all of my facebook statuses and puts them in a simple, easy to read page like this. I took a picture of mine so I apologize if its not very readable.

(oh, and the reason why I have so many is because they didn't all relate to eachother, so I split them up by subject.)

Instead of writing what I DON'T want... I'll write what I DO want. :oP

Dear Grand Universe... I know I'm not in the center of you- but I know when I connect with the positive energy that IS you I can attract GREAT things.

So here is what I would like to attract...

I want love.

I want happiness.

I want adoration and appreciation.

I want peace and nice emotions.

I want financial freedom to earn and spend as I choose.

I want cleanliness but sanity and fun.

I want motivation and attainable goals.

I want compliments and conversation.

I want attention and simplification.

I want to be me and proud of me and my actions.

I want unconditional love and satisfaction.

Geez- is that too much to ask? :oP

Oh, and I want a million dollars too-

In the name of Jesus Christ... Amen.

My Plan...

ugh! oh no- i have NO idea what I'm going to do. today- i started having another melt down. Trying to figure out exactly what i want so i can get a game plan and move on. but it's easier said than done. :o(

I know my husband loves me, he just has a strange way of showing it- Here's my plan:
1. BE DETERMINED & FIND A JOB- then financially we will be more stable.
2. BE RESPONSIBLE & PAY SOME BILLS- then my husband will be less stressed
3. BE HAPPY w/ NICER HUSBAND - and I will feel better about my marriage.
4. BE GRATEFUL in HAPPY MARRIAGE- i will have a happy life.

More and More

More and More- each day you remind me

More and More- each day I wanna cry

I wanna run far away and leave you

Because I no longer wanna give you ‘a try’

More and More- I love you lots less

Cuz More and More -you try to mold me to be

The same ugly pessimist person that you are

Which makes me wanna leave -so I can be free

More and More -each day you talk ugly

More and More-each day you turn sour

And More and More -each day you remind me

That I am the one in control, with the power

More and More- you will be realize you were wrong

Then More and More- you will regret your own hate

You will wanna take back all you said to me

But by then, it will be way too late.

by Crystal J. Wells on Thursday, December 2, 2010 at 10:34pm

Things I want in my future husband

Written by Crystal J. Pollard on July 28, 2005- 2 weeks before meeting my current husband. (Based on my struggles with my THEN husband of 3 years.)

(x's are things I wish my current husband would work on- and stars are placed next to my current husband's attributes on 11/14/10- 5 years and 3 months after we met. oh, and the ones in italics below- are what my EX WERE, everything else HE WASN'T.)

1. I want my husband to be ambitious. *
2. I want my husband to be sincere. x & *
3. I want my husband to love his family. *
4. I want my husband to want a family of his own. *
5. I want my husband to sing to me as well as sing with me. x
6. I want my husband to dance with me especially in public. x
7. I want my husband to be willing to do anything JUST to be with me. x
8. I want my husband to love kids. *
9. I want my husband to like being out doors. x & *
10. I want my husband to like dogs. *
11. I want my husband to take me out on dates. x
12. I want my husband to be in good shape. x
13. I want my husband to make healthy food choices. x
14. I want my husband to have big dreams. *
15. I want my husband to have goals. *
16. I want my husband to be romantic. x
17. I want my husband to be faithful. *
18. I want my husband to be energetic about life. x
19. I want my husband to get along with my family. x & *
20. I want my husband to respect his body. (No drugs or alcohol.) *
21. I want my husband to willing to move OUT OF TUCSON. *
22. I want my husband to get along with his family. *
23. I want my husband to like traveling. *
24. I want my husband to be comfortable with change. x
25. I want my husband to be willing to change diapers. *
26. I want my husband to be a positive thinker. x
27. I want my husband to understand my point of view.x
28. I want my husband to be a handy man. *
29. I want my husband to know a lot if not some things about cars.*
30. I want my husband to not be controlling. x
31. I want my husband to be easy to talk to. x
32. I want my husband to hold me when I’m crying. x
33. I want my husband to take care of me when I’m sick. x & *
34. I want my husband to get off work early just to be with me. x
35. I want my husband to bring in groceries after I go shopping. *
36. I want my husband to do dishes once in a while. x
37. I want my husband to do laundry once in a while. *
38. I want my husband to clean up after himself. *
39. I want my husband to challenge me to be my best. x
40. I want my husband to save money for the future. x
41. I want my husband to have a productive hobby. x & *
42. I want my husband to have his own friends. *
43. I want my husband to have a college degree in something that he enjoys. *
44. I want my husband to be calm in stressful situations. x & *
45. I want my husband to be affectionate and make out with me once in awhile. x & *
46. I want my husband to make me breakfast in bed on my birthday and treat me like a princess once a year. x
47. I want my husband to give me a mother’s day gift (even if we don’t have kids.)*
48. I want my husband to have a photo of his mother in his house. x & *
49. I want my husband to have his own place when I meet him for the first time. x
50. I want my husband to give me deep and meaningful conversations. x
51. I want my husband to give me eye contact EVERYTIME we’re talking.x
52. I want my husband to open doors for me and stand up when I approach the table. x
53. I want my husband to love and hate Television as much as I do. *
54. I want my husband to have the want to be happy rather than the need to be right. x
55. I want my husband to have something in common (hobby wise) with me. x
56. I want my husband to have a sister that he cares about/close to. x
57. I want my husband to have a brother that he cares about/close to. x
58. I want my husband to get excited to BE WITH ME no matter what we’re doing. x
59. I want my husband to be spontaneous, like me. x
60. I want my husband to be planned, like me. *
61. I want my husband to not swear like a sailor, but casually like I do. *
62. I want my husband to be able to hear my voice and smile. x
63. I want my husband to be willing to see a doctor at least once a year. *
64. I want my husband to be willing to see a dentist at least every 6 months. *
65. I want my husband to be willing to do some cooking. *
66. I want my husband to be willing to try my cooking. *
67. I want my husband to be open minded to trying new foods and restaurants. x & *
68. I want my husband to love his car or be working on it to improve it. *
69. I want my husband to work a normal set of work hours unless we’re struggling. *
70. I want my husband to work more than one job IF EVER NEEDED. x
71. I want my husband to have a past relationship that lasted for more than 2 years. *
72. I want my husband to love a variety of music. *
73. I want my husband to like or at least tolerate musicals and sappy chick flicks.x
74. I want my husband to play an instrument. *
75. I want my husband to not care about my looks, but call me beautiful all the time. x
76. I want my husband and me to own a big house together. *
77. I want my husband to be willing to wear a suit and tie. x
78. I want my husband to be a good listener. *
79. I want my husband to be a good negotiator and be willing to bend. x
80. I want my husband to like Disney Land and Disney World. x
81. I want my husband to never pressure me into anything I wasn’t ready for. *
82. I want my husband to treat me like a lady. x
83. I want my husband to treat me with respect and never hit me (or anyone else.) x
84. I want my husband to always do the driving when were out. (Unless I ask to.) *
85. I want my husband to share his money but keep a separate account for himself.*
86. I want my husband to assist me with paying the bills. *
87. I want my husband to go swimming with me once in a while. x
88. I want my husband to be able to take care of things when I can’t. *
89. I want my husband to know what it’s like to loose someone close.*
90. I want my husband to trust me when I’m not with him at all times. x
91. I want my husband to know how to control his anger. x & *
92. I want my husband to be productive with his everyday life. x
93. I want my husband to never allow us to go to bed angry. x
94. I want my husband to talk to me WHENEVER I need to talk. *
95. I want my husband to value me more than SLEEP, more than WORK, and more than ANYTHING ELSE. *
96. I want to catch my husband starring at me sometimes admiring the love he has for me.x
97. I want my husband to assist my family with whatever he can, when ever he can. *
98. I want my husband to wait on me hand on foot, (and I to him.) x
99. I want my husband to call me to say I love you every once in awhile. *
100. I want my husband to kiss me before we part and every time we greet each other. x
101. I want my husband to never get mad for little, dumb things x
102. I want my husband to have a positive frame of mind x
103. I want my husband to notices the nice things about EVERYTHING x
104. I want my husband to talk nicely and calmly to me, our children and other family x & *
105. I want my husband to be open minded enough to admit when he’s wrong. x
106. I want my husband to be able to apologize when he is wrong. x
107. I want my husband to be social and not withdrawn or dominate the conversation. x
108. I want my husband to listen to what I’m saying and not what he assumes I’m sayingx
109. I want my husband to not be so defensive when I give him feedback. x
110. I want my husband to be genuinely involved with our children’s lives and care about them. *
111. I want my husband to never scream at our kids, but will talk to them with respect. x & *
112. I want my husband to be aware of his personal hygiene. *
113. I want my husband to be apart of the family no matter who’s there or what we’re doing. x
114. I want my husband to make the best of every family get together. x & *
115. I want my husband to take making love very seriously and give me affection afterward too. x
116. I want my husband to help me work on my road rage as well his own. x
117. I want my husband to have ambition and put it to work. x
118. I want my husband to not need anyone to nag him to do anything. x
119. I want my husband to be able to pack and dress for himself. *
120. I want my husband to not watch TV when there is something more important to do.x
121. I want my husband to be able to value his word and won’t postpone his commitments.x
122. I want my husband to be honest and have integrity. x
123. I want my husband to be the first up in the morning and is on top of things he needs to do. *
124. I want my husband who truly is my best friend and tries to be in tune with my emotions. x
125. I want my husband to be able to listen without judgment or argument.x
126. I want my husband to surprise me with small tokens of affection. *
127. I want my husband to take me out at least once a week.x
128. I want my husband to treat me as an equal to him. x
129. I want my husband to stand up for me if anyone disrespects me.x
130. I want my husband to never give me unnecessary guilt trips. x
131. I want my husband to allow me to explain my thoughts when I make a decision he doesn’t agree with. x
132. I want my husband to allow me to think for myself. (non-manipulating.)x
133. I want my husband to brush his teeth regularly. x
134. I want my husband to never make fun at me (unless I’m laughing too.)x
135. I want my husband to be as passionate for life, love and a career as I am x & *
136. I want my husband to be always trying to better himself, and see’s life as a constant journey x
137. I want my husband to never lie, cheat steal or have the desire to kill.x
138. I want my husband to be able to express his anger in healthy forms of expression; i.e.: talking, crying etc x
139. I want my husband to be showing improvement daily, whether it’s with me or him. x
140. I want my husband to enjoy holidays and likes to celebrate them with his family.x
141. I want my husband to be willing to help me with holiday gift wrapping and shopping x
142. I want my husband be open minded when I’m concerned about our relationship. x
143. I want my husband to be willing to go to marriage counseling if needed. *
144. I want my husband to appreciate the world and be willing to travel outside of United States. x
145. I want my husband to give in to an argument, just for the sake of “letting it go.” x
146. I want my husband to help me clean up after our pets as well as our kids. *
147. I want my husband to be willing to volunteer for a good cause. x
148. I want my husband to buy me roses once in a while. *
149. I want my husband to have proposed to me romantically and was willing to have a big wedding. *
150. I want my future husband to read this list and be WILLING to work on these because HE LOVES ME! x

My Own Goals & Wants

(written sometime before May 2007)

I have no idea when I wrote this or WHY I was feeling this way- but it's always good to come back to, especially in times like these.

:'o(

1. I don’t ever want to feel like I HAVE to have a man in order to make me happy.
2. I want to know and feel confident that I can take care of myself financially.
3. I want to be kind and courteous to others, familiar or strange.
4. I don’t want to steal from anyone or anyplace ever again.
5. I want to eat healthy foods and make healthier food choices most of the time.
6. I want to exercise regularly and be in shape.
7. I want to be open to other people’s ideas and suggestions and not be so controlling.
8. I want to be known for my dependability and stability.
9. I want to be committed to my agreements that I make to my friends, family and customers.
10. I don’t ever want to be wishy washy or indecisive.
11. I respect my body by not using drugs and abusing alcohol.
12. I like to sing and I want to feel confident enough to sing out loud more often.
13. I want to be more friendly and strike up a conversation with anyone at anytime.
14. I want to be 100% honest with not just with others, but also with myself most of all.
15. I want to be a mom, and I want to be a good mom to my kids.
16. I want to think on the positive side of things rather than the negative.
17. I don’t want to nag or complain about stupid things.
18. I want to have an immaculate house and know how to keep it that way.
19. I never want to cheat on my husband.
20. I never want to leave my husband unless he tells me to leave- and Violence will NOT be accepted.