Goals vs Results 5/23/2011

Brooklyn and Matthew haven’t been feeling good all weekend. Matt has a tummy ache now and Brooklyn just woke up with a fever. (All I can say is THEY SURE PICKED a good day to be sick!)

1. Now that we’re up- I’m dressed and I’ll get the kids dressed.

2. I’ll give them some medicine and I’ll walk them down to the park in the Wagon.

3. I’ll walk around while they play. When they get tired, we’ll head home.

4. We’ll eat breakfast and then I’ll get started on the kitchen.

5. Possibly by 11am, I’ll put Brooklyn down for a nap

6. She has an eye dr appt at 1:30 today so we’ll need to get ready to go by 1pm

7. Afterwards, I might take them to the primary care doctor’s if they still aren’t feeling their best

8. If I’m able to, I’d like to stop by the dollar store and get a poster.

9. I’ll come home, make sure they’re happy and start on the front room

10. No matter what time it is, I’ll keep working on the front room, dining room and 1 load of laundry- but…

(I might not have time today to get to the ‘ONE cleaning item per week’ goal- but other than that, I think I’ve got a full day today!)

The Result

Brooklyn and Matthew were very whiny all day so I spent MOST of my day caring for them and their needs. :o)

1. I got the kids dressed, they were excited to go to the P.A.R.K. -lol

2. I gave them each medicine but couldn't walk to the park 'cause the handle to the wagon was broken. :o(

(I almost just stayed home until Matthew had a said "dwive yo caw mommy! Dat a gweat idea!")

3. Neither one of them wanted to play on the playground, so they just walked with me.

(Took only 7 min and 24 seconds to walk one lap around the park… yes, it's a small park.)

4. They wanted to go home because they didn't feel good, they barely ate breakfast.

5. I put them down for naps at 10:30ish- I was tired too… I napped. :o(

6. We were suppose to leave the house by 12:30 but didn't wake up until 12:45- we rushed to the Dr's office

7. Afterwards, my husband wanted to go look at houses, then we got McDonald's for lunch

8. Never made it to the dollar store- ran home to try to clean the kitchen before 5pm

9. Barely wiped down the counters after one set of dishes- then had to leave again

10. Jim wanted me to meet him and his parents at another house… we got home at 8pm.

I'll try again tomorrow…) :o/

New Beginnings...

New Beginnings...

My husband and I have discussed our current financial situation and have decided that it would be best for me to QUIT my job and just stay home with the kids. My job as a receptionist wasn't providing enough income for me to drive 18 miles each way at $3.76 a gallon. PLUS, $180 a week in daycare was CHEAP, but still not cheap enough to make my entry-level wage 'worth it'.

After much heart ache, guilt and soul searching- I found myself looking FORWARD to staying home with my kids, even if it did mean I'd have to say goodbye to some really great friends.

One of those recently acquired new friends is Jade. She's funny, smart and got a lot of spunk. She's very insightful but most of all, she's got a heart of gold and LOVES to be that 'listening ear'. I asked her one day, if she would be interested in being my 'Life Coach' as I embark on this new journey of being a SAHM. (Stay at Home Mom) She seemed thrilled and gave me some homework to do, right away.

Below is her list of questions- paired with my answers. As much social networking as I already do, I'm sure it will be a surprise for you to know that I don't want to share this with EVERYONE. Not even my own husband, really. You should feel SPECIAL that I've chosen to share this with you! I'm writing this BLOG in place of writing a journal- I think of it like my own little journey mixed with struggles, triumphs and personal growth. So because I don't plan on plastering these personal thoughts to my facebook page- I request that you respect my wishes by not making this BLOG info PUBLIC.

Now- back to my homework...

I confessed to Jade that I was very nervous about being a housewife. Instead of agreeing - Jade asked me what my goals were and had me share with her what I feared the MOST about being a SAHM. To be honest, I've always been 'told' that I'm a slob, I'm lazy and I could never have a decently clean house on a regular basis because of my inherited NEED to be cluttered. Through the years, I've learned- that just because I USED to be this 'Crystal' before- doesn't mean I ALWAYS have to be this way- I DO have a choice and I can choose something new EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't have to be stuck the the tenancies I've always had- I can choose new habits and new routines WHENEVER I FEEL like it!
So, here are Jade's questions (in blue) to help guide me to the next step of my goals. (And my answers are in Black.)

1) How do you want your house to look?

a. I want it to be clean and clutter free when anyone (including myself) walks through the front door

b. I want my dishes to always be done and the counters to always be clear

c. I want my floors to vacuumed and clean of any food/dirt messes

d. I want my bathrooms to be clean enough to eat off the toilet seats & floors. J

e. I want the bedrooms to be organized enough to have family visit and I’m not embarrassed if they choose to stay the night.

f. I want my ‘clutter’ boxes to be gone through and organized and no longer on my ‘to-do’ list

2) Why is it important to you and what does it mean to you to have your house look that way?

a. To have a house THIS clean is important because I want to be proud in my home

b. I want to feel less ‘shamed’ of myself and my abilities when I have visitors come over

c. I want my husband to be proud of me and his home

d. I want my kids to learn the value of living in a clean and clutter free home

e. I want to be able to take day-to-day pictures of my family without having the ‘mess’ behind them

f. I want my mother and father in-law to have ONLY great things to say about me

3) What do you feel are the standards others have?

a. Other people have advised to me that I should just ‘clean-as-I-go’

b. 'Not eat in any room other than the dining area'

c. 'Pick up the toys, etc every evening before bed'

d. ''Detail clean every weekend'

e. 'Get the whole family to help out/chores lists etc'

f. 'Don’t allow distractions (like TV/computer/etc) to be an ‘excuse’. '

4) Why do you want your house to look to the standards of others?

a. I agree with their standards, I just have not yet accomplished them myself

b. I don’t want to feel like the ‘dirty’ one of the family anymore, I want to challenge myself to be better

c. I want respect from others so when I ask for trash to be taken out or a bedroom to be cleaned up it won’t be questioned.

d. I like knowing that if I've done my best at the end of the day, then I KNOW I deserve all the little fun things that I normally want anyway.

e. I want to feel like a mature woman, not a lazy teen anymore.

f. I want others to think of me in the highest regards, without disgust or judgement.

5) In three columns list answer the following:

List everything that you feel needs to be cleaned in detail (even if it’s a really long list. For example if an item on your list is that you want the kitchen to consistently have clean counters, what does that mean to you? How much or how little does that entail? Clean counters, put away dry dishes, wipe the faucet off, wipe off all the appliances, clean the stove, etc…)

6) List WHY that is important to you. Either on the whole (clean the counters) or with each detail (put away dishes). However much you feel you need.

7) List what steps you are going to do in order to help yourself feel and keep the motivation to do each item on your list.

Everything that Needs to be clean (in detail)

*PICK UP THE CLOTHES OFF THE BEDROOM FLOOR * CLEAN UP JIM’S CLOTHING CORNER * CLEAN UP THE ITEMS IN FRONT OF JIM’S DRESSER * CLEAN OFF THE TOP OF MY CLOTHING CABINET * CLEAN UP THE BEDROOM CLOSET * SCRUB THE MASTER BATHROOM TOILET * CLEAN THE TOILET ROOM * CLEAN THE SHOWER * ORGANIZE THE BATHROOM CABINETS * CLEAN THE SINK & MIRRORS IN THE MASTER BATHROOM * ORGANIZE THE CLUTTER ON THE COUNTER * TIDY UP THE WHITE SHELVES OF THE MASTER BATHROOM * CLEAN UP THE KITTY TOWER AREA * CLEAN UP THE SHORT BROWN TABLE AREA IN THE LOFT * CLEAN UP THE TOP OF MY DESK * CLEAN UP THE BOTTOM OF MY DESK * ORGANIZE THE BOOK SHELF * CLEAN OFF THE TOP OF TREVOR’S DESK * UP THE FLOOR UNDER TREVOR’S DESK * CLEAN OFF BRANDEN’S DESK * CLEAN UP THE TUBS NEXT TO TREVOR’S DESK * CLEAN UP THE ITEMS BEHIND JIM’S DESK * CLEAN OFF THE LEFT SIDE TOP OF JIM’S DESK * CLEAN OFF THE MIDDLE TOP OF JIM’S DESK CLEAN OFF THE RIGHT SIDE TOP OF JIM’S DESK * CLEAN UP THE HALLWAY * CLEAN OFF THE STAIRS * PICK UP THE FRONT ROOM * CLEAN OFF THE PIANO * PUT ALL THE FISH STUFF AWAY * FIND A PLACE FOR THE EXTRA FISH STUFF * CLEAN UP THE CLUTTER NEAR THE BOXES/FRONT DOOR * TIDY UP ON TOP OF THE TV CENTER * CLEAN UP THE CORNER NEAR THE FRONT ROOM BOOKSHELF * CLEAN ON TOP OF THE BOOKSHELF * SCRUB THE DOWN STAIRS TOILET * CLEAN LITTLE KIDS POTTY CHAIRS * CLEAN THE SINK & MIRROR IN THE DOWN ST BEDROOM * TIDY UP THE SHELVES & CLEAN THE FLOORS IN THE DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM * CLEAN OFF BROOKLYN’S HIGH CHAIR * CLEAN OFF MATTHEW’S HIGHCHAIR * CLEAN OFF THE TALL COUNTER IN THE DINING ROOM * CLEAN UP THE CLUTTER ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE & CHAIRS * CLEAN UP THE CLUTTER IN THE BINS * CLEAN UP THE CLUTTER IN THE BOXES IN THE DINING ROOM CORNER* CLEAN UP THE CLUTTER ON TOP OF THE SCRAPBOOKING DRESSER * ORGANIZE THE TOP LEFT SHELVES IN THE DINING ROOM * ORGANIZE THE BOTTOM LEFT SHELVES IN THE DINING ROOM * ORGANIZE THE RIGHT SHELVES IN THE DINING ROOM * PICK UP THE STUFF UNDERNEATH THE DINING ROOM TABLE * CLEAN OFF THE STOVE IN THE KITCHEN *CLEAN OUT THE MICROWAVE AND TOASTER OVEN * CLEAN UP THE LEFT COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN * CLEAN OFF THE RIGHT COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN * CLEAN OUT THE SINK IN THE KITCHEN * CLEAN OFF THE FAR RIGHT COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN * CLEAN OFF THE FAR LEFT COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN * TAKE OUT THE TRASH AND CLEAN UP THE FLOOR AROUND THE TRASH CAN * SWEEP AND MOP THE KITCHEN FLOOR * ORGANIZE THE BOTTOM SHELVES ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE PANTRY * ORGANIZE THE TOP SHELVES ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE PANTRY * ORGANIZE THE BOTTOM SHELVES ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE PANTRY * ORGANIZE THE TOP SHELVES ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE PANTRY * CLEAN OUT THE FRIDGE & FREEZER IN IT’S ENTIRETY * CLEAN OUT THE POTS & PANS CUPBOARD * CLEAN OUT THE GLASS & PLASTIC CUPBOARD * CLEAN OUT UNDERNEATH THE SINK * CLEAN OUT THE APPLIANCE CUPBOARD * CLEAN OUT THE BOWLS & KIDS PLATES CUPBOARD * CLEAN UP THE LAUNDRY ROOM FLOOR * ORGANIZE THE CLEANERS ON THE TOP SHELVES OF THE LAUNDRY ROOM * CLEAN OFF THE TOPS OF THE WASHER & DRYER * CLEAN OUT THE JUNK BETWEEN THE WASHER & DRYER * PICK UP THE ROCK BAND STUFF NEAR THE BACK DOOR * CLEAN UP THE TOYS IN THE BACK YARD * CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN IN THE BACK YARD * GET RID OF THE STUFF ON THE BACK YARD SHELVES * CLEAN UP THE GARBAGE AND JUNK ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE * CLEAN UP THE WEEDS & DEAD TREE IN THE BACK YARD * CLEAN UP THE GATED AREA IN THE BACK OF THE HOUSE * SWEEP THE BACK PATIO & PICK UP THE GARBAGE * CLEAN UP THE MIDDLE OF THE GARAGE * CLEAN UP THE LEFT SIDE OF THE GARAGE * CLEAN UP THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE GARAGE * SCRUB DOWN THE GARAGE FRIDGE * FIX THE BLINDS IN THE FRONT WINDOW * TIDY UP THE FRONT PORCH AREA * CLEAN UP THE FRONT YARD/ROCKS AREA * WIND UP THE HOSE IN THE FRONT YARD * WASH JIM’S CAR * WASH MY CAR * CLEAN OUT MY CAR * VACUUM MY CAR * PUT THE TIRE BACK ON MY CAR * HAND WASH THE WINDOWS TO JIM’S CAR * CLEAN UP THE BOYS BATHROOM, TOILET, SHOWER, FLOOR, TRASH & FOOD * CLEAN UP THE SINK AND MIRROR OF THE BOYS BATHROOM * CLEAN UNDERNEATH THE BOYS BATHROOM SINK * CLEAN UP MATTHEW’S ROOM * CLEAN UP MATTHEW’S CLOSET * ORGANIZE MATTHEW’S SHELVES * CLEAN UP BROOKLYN’S ROOM * CLEAN UP BROOKLYN’S CLOSET * PUT AWAY THE STUFF ON TOP OF BROOKLYN CLOSET SHELVES* ORGANIZE BROOKLYN’S SHELVES * WASH THE WALLS IN BROOKLYN’S ROOM * CLEAN UP BRANDEN’S ROOM * CLEAN UP TREVOR’S ROOM.

A: Daily Cleaning List B: Why this is Important to me C: Steps I'm going to Take

1a. Kitchen cleaned
1b. So my husband can feel comfortable cooking when he gets home
1c. Make it my #1 goal to complete on a daily basis

2a. Front room cleaned
2b. So it's always welcoming when people walk in the door
2c. Make it a fun chore for the kids to help me keep the toys picked up

3a. Dining Room/Counters
3b. Because if these are not kept clutter free- my house won't look completely clean
3c. Once #1 and #2 are done, it will be my goal to keep these up daily

4a. One Load of Laundry
4b. Because several loads at a time can be overwhelming where one load daily is more manageable
4c. Sort, Wash, Dry, Fold/hang and PUT AWAY!!!

5a. One 'WEEKLY' item
5b. Because breaking up the detail cleaning to once a week will help me not feel so overwhelmed
5c. Make a chart of 7 things I can clean on a weekly basis AND DO THEM!

8) What threats (from the SWOT) do you feel are going to stop your or prevent you from gaining or maintaining that motivation?

9) List what steps you are going to take after the threat has occurred that will help get you back on track.

Threats- The so-called ‘threats’ may be ‘excuses’ but they are a reality of the obstacles I face.

1. Kids often ‘need’ me or want me to provide them with food, attention and entertainment. I feel that with some dedicated focus, I can do it ALL successfully.

2. I often allow laziness to get in my way by just saying ‘I’m tired’ or ‘I don’t feel like it right now’- this will be my greatest challenge to overcome.

3. I allow distractions (like TV/computer) to steal my day away- I’d rather just SHUT OFF the electronics and make it a productive day.

4. If I am standing & moving for too long, my sciatica will act up and it is very painfully for me to remain on my feet- however, with exercise & diet, this may improve

5. ME- I am great at organizing my time but I have not been great at FOLLOWING my game plan. With daily incentives, I might be able to improve on that.

For my new friend Leslie...

(I know you’re probly wondering
“What is she up to now?”
My only goal for this rhyme-
is just to hear your “Wow”)

12 Roses for my Leslie

for 12 weeks she’s been my friend
Buying lunch and sharing giggles
I’m so sad to see it end L

12 things I hope to remember

the longer time goes by
and No Leslie, I swear, I promise
I don’t wanna make you cry

1^st rose is for the hiccups

she helped me get rid of
“Think of a spotted cow”
That remedy, I love!

2^nd Rose is for Chipotle

the “HEAVEN” she did hate
3^rd Rose is for my Nick Name
“Radar” ‘cause I’m so great! J

4^th Rose is for the Freddy’s

each time, I messed up bad
5^th Rose is for the Panda
it’s the best we’ve ever had!

6^th Rose is for the DQ

Chicken sandwiches are her thing
7^th Rose is for the Subway
As you listen to me sing

8^th Rose is for the Quiznos

She says they’re “Way-WAAAY better”
9^th Rose is for Roberto’s
I know just what to get her

10^th Rose is for Macayo’s

when we order it to-go
11^th is for Star bucks
Vente Caramel Frappachino

Let’s not forget the porkchops

chorizo and QT
I did it all for Leslie,
‘cause I know that she loves me!

12^th Rose is for “The Thingy”

that I never wanted to do
‘Cause I didn’t wanna have to work here
If I didn’t at least have you…

But now the table’s turned

As I spend my last few days…
I hope we meet again soon
with an employer who actually pays!

My S.W.O.T.

---1. Strengths- I can use these strengths in ANYTHING I choose to do. I just need to CHOOSE!

a. I’m Reliable

b. I’m Friendly

c. I can be Fast

d. I am Skilled

e. I’m super Creative

f. I can be Motivated

g. I am Respectful

h. I’m very Unique

i. I can be Versatile

j. I get very Passionate

---2. Weaknesses – Any of these weakness can be improved on with just a little bit of focus

a. I’m Not licensed

b. I can be Naïve

c. Sometimes I’m too Detailed

d. I can be Sensitive

e. I can be Indecisive at times

---3. Opportunities- Combining my strengths with the following possibilities gives me great opportunities.

a. Should I Become Licensed?

b. Should I take this time and bond with my children?

c. Should I Make a career for myself now or later?

d. Should Go back to school?

e. I would love to start my own business.

---4. Threats- The so-called ‘threats’ may be ‘excuses’ but they are a reality of the obstacles I face.

a. Money, or lack there of

b. Children, daycare expenses

c. Husband, lack of support

d. Self, pitfalls of confidence & determination

e. Time, need to organize it better

The Challenge...

Since I'll be a 'stay-at-home-mom' soon- I thought I’d focus on a NEW CHALLENGE for the month of May. Once I get my house the way I want it- the REAL Challenge will be KEEPING it clutter-free!

clutter cramps my style

I loathe clutter. I know what you're thinking... but I DO! To me it’s just more stuff to look at, put away, pay attention to, or clean. I would much rather have less stuff so I can spend more time scrapbooking, playing with my kids, writing, or of course... faceboooking.

found money

Clutter also represents wasted money.When I go through things, I literally find money. Recently, I even found a money order from 2005- completely blank, completely unspent... I even tried cashing it- ugh. That was a $50 mistake. :o(

On the seldom occasion of finding ACTUAL cash- you may find also things which are sellable, and net a tidy profit from a few hours of decluttering. At the very least you can get the value of the items and take a tax deduction.

the NEXT 30 day challenge

I’m calling all you Clutter Bugs to come forth and join my CHALLENGE with me. 5 a day to keep the clutter away.

The guidelines are simple.

• Find 5 things a day that you can get rid of. Size doesn’t matter. It could be a spoonrest or an entire wardrobe.
• Put them in a box/bag/bin in an out of the way area (your garage, laundry room, a closet)
• At the end of each week or the month (depending on your storage space) trash it, give away or donate all the items
• If you find something that indeed is sale-worthy you have the month to sell it. If by the end of May- it’s still in your box, it goes, and you get a nice tax write-off.

Options for getting rid of your items include:

• - Goodwill/Salvation Army/Savers/Homeless shelter... or other charities for toys/kid’s clothing consider a local domestic violence shelter
  
  
• - CraigsList (free or for sale)
  
  
• - Freecycle
  
  
• - eBay
  
  
• - Be creative! Maybe you have a friend who could use your old lawnmower, or you create a neighborhood swap.
  
  

By the end of the month you should have 155 things to go. Take a photo of it and upload it to an album if you want. (For me, I'll do a before and after picture of my worst cluttered areas- only 'cause Photos help me stay modivated.)

As you read this note- Let me know if you are up for the challenge, and as you start your own album- tell me what your struggles are with stuff.

I find that most people (especially ME) have issues letting things go for one reason or another, and I’m happy to help you work through yours. Feel free to email me, text, or comment here on facebook.

A few things that will tie-in with the 5 a day challenge:

• live chat through fb instant message
• before and after photos of my problem areas (if it helps you know- you're not alone!)
• videos to show you how I determine if things are saleworthy, and how I choose what to get rid of
• a possible giveaway! (working on sponsors for this right now, feel free to email me if you have a product that ties in with the challenge)

Looking forward to hearing what you think, and getting rid of the clutter with you! We all know that My house needs it!

Poem to HomeLovers

I know your time is valuable
But frankly- mine is too

That’s why I just decided
I’ll write a poem just for you

For 3 months I’ve been working
At HomeLovers LLC

As much as I have loved it
I’m afraid it’s not meant to be

It’s just not smart to stay here
Despite the way I feel

With two kids still in daycare
I can’t even pay 1 bill

I’ve hem hawed these last few weeks
I’ve hinted and I’ve pleaded

To stay, I need a raise please
But not sure if I’m needed

I thought I was doing great
I am good with people and such

But my 90 days have come
And no one’s ever said much

So here I am just waiting
Till Dave and Mike ‘have time’

To talk to me about options
‘stead of listening to me rhyme

I’ve thought about becoming licensed
I’ve thought about working from home

But if HomeLovers doesn’t want me
Then it’s time that I move on

Can you afford to keep me?
‘Cause I’d really like to stay-

I’d need thirteen an hour
Or from home, $60 a day

Is there a future here with you guys?
If not, then that’s okay.

So I’ll sum it but by telling you
I’ll work till the 10^th of May.

My Jim is GREAT!

I just had to clarify a few things…

My Jim is great. I really don’t mean to complain about him- I guess you can say that the only reason why I do it is to ‘vent’, but that’s only ‘cause we (women) need to let off some steam once in awhile and I don’t want to blow off my steam to my oh-so-wonderful husband. And who else do I have that I can talk to? YOU! J

The truth is. I love him- I do. Yes, I wish we were a little bit more lovey dovey & more respectful of each other, but all in all- we are a pretty amazing pair. You see…

My husband takes care of me and his kids. He’s our protector and provider. He loves me, he loves his family and in everything he does he thinks of us first. In return I take care of my husband, I love him and I take care of our home (to the best that I can) and our children. In everything I do -I think of him and the children first.

Sometimes I think we both forget that it takes a lot of commitment and sacrifice to raise a family like ours. (4 kids ranging in different ages, blended but simple) There are days that I am at my wits ends and I wish I had more time, energy, help and LOVE! But on the whole, I muster up my will power to be the best wife and mother I can be.

I am not surprised by the hours it takes to wake up, dress the kids, go to work, come home, feed, play, bathe, clean and yes, sometimes I cook too. What I am surprised by is that my hubby’s there to help me with every bit of it. Plus, I am so grateful and surprised that he doesn’t get overwhelmed too often. I am also in awe that in this day and age I have a man who loves and protects his family so selflessly and joyfully.

He is a husband and dad that arrives home from work ready to ‘get the night started’. Some days he has a relaxing break from the work day, for at least a little while, but some days there is no such thing. When the kids and I walk in the door- most days, we’re laughing and he gets to see a pretty wife with happy kids. But other days, he witnesses crying fits and it’s a frazzled who wife greets him. In both scenarios, he jumps right in to whatever the evening has in store like he’s hard wired to do so. He is a dad that: changes diapers, wipes noses, takes the trash out, does the yard work, mops & vacuums floors, reads stories, budgets the bills and cleans up the kitchen too! He is even a dad that helps cook dinner on a regular basis. (And he’s a darn good cook I might add.)

So- just to put him in the light of a more ‘loving’ vibe… my husband is a wonderful father and helps me tremendously on a daily basis. I know how easy it can be get carried away when we start complaining about our loved ones, so I just wanted to balance it out with the silver lining of our marriage.

Thanks for reading. See you around soon, I’m sure.