Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I have 8 hours...

Today I have at least 8 hours to impress my husband

From 9am to 5pm I have decided to do the following...

9am- Clean downstairs bathroom
10am- Clean front door entry way
11am- Clean up front room & get under couches
12pm- break for lunch & put kids down for a nap
1pm- vacuum all of downstairs
2pm- unload and load dishwasher
3pm- clean off counters
4pm- fold and put away all laundry
5pm- clean dining room and wash windows.

I am only half way through my day so will let you know how I do.

(please remember, I usually only do 2 productive things so to have a list like this is VERY productive for me.)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Crystal loves HomeLovers

The First Meeting

Today I got to meet the owner of HomeLovers; Mike Sargent- an intelligent, friendly gentleman who was both knowledgeable and professional. Immediately I felt comfortable, I lost the nervous butterflies and could easily see myself fitting right in with his office team.

So many things impressed me about his company, mainly the ‘paperless’ choice for storing their documents. It’s such an obvious solution for both the environment but more importantly, organizational. Can you imagine how much time is saved when you don’t have to search for documents in a lateral file? Just do a quick search on file-bound and you’re saved!

If I was offered the position, I would be so honored to accept because I will finally be employed where I get to use SOOOO many of my skills. I love doing clerical, customer service, administrative, advertising AND design. I don’t think there are too many opportunities like this that come along. I feel so good about this career move- it’s scary to think I MIGHT not get the job!

Thanks again Mike for the opportunity to meet you in person. I look forward to hearing from you next week.
-Crystal J. Wells

Sunday, October 10, 2010

...let me Google it. . .

What is a wife and husband? Hmmm… let me Google it. . .

"The husband is to assume leadership in the home (1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:23). This leadership should not be dictatorial, condescending, or patronizing to the wife, but should be in accordance with the example of Christ leading the church. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word” (Ephesians 5:25-26). Christ loved the church (His people) with compassion, mercy, forgiveness, respect, and selflessness. In this same way husbands are to love their wives.

Wives are to submit to the authority of their husbands. “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24). Although women should submit to their husbands, the Bible also tells men several times how they are supposed to treat their wives. The husband is not to take on the role of the dictator, but should show respect for his wife and her opinions."

The above has not been followed. Are we living in bible times? No. Should we? I don’t know. But all I know is I am not happy as “husband and wife”.

Something has to be done. Something “new” has to be done with me, with my thinking. I am tired of giving everyone the happy, giving, loving me to get NOTHING in return. Am I over exaggerating…? perhaps. But none the less- I am so sick and tired of feeling my best for everyone to get absolutely nothing in return.

I want a job. A job that I can be good at. Being his wife is something I have NEVER been good at and I would much rather strip myself from all emotional attachment and just GET A JOB!

Consider this my resignation. I am resigning from being your wife. I am no longer going to offer you the unconditional love, support and gratitude that I have shown you for over 5 years. I will not do things out of hopes to please you or continue to try to make you happy.

Why? Simply because I SUCK at my job as your wife. You don’t have to say it, I already know that I suck. I do not meet your expectations as to what a wife is or what a wife does. I know this because I am not getting ANY positive feedback from being your wife. I apologize for not giving you an advance notice but no matter how hard I try- I will NEVER be your perfect wife. I am tired of trying to be your perfect wife. And you cannot and WILL not accept me for the wife that I am so I resign.

But… I will not leave you. I do not believe a father should be forced to live without his kids JUST because the mother and father do not get along. I do not believe that a mother should live without her kids JUST because she does not meet the expectations of a wife. So, in return for the shelter, food and utilities that I will be using as your NON wife I would like to apply for a job.

The job? The housekeeper/nanny. Below is the job description that I will take VERY seriously. I will exceed your expectations as a housekeeper/nanny and in return I just live here rent free. Any groceries you wish for me to purchase I will keep only you and your children in mind. I will only eat when I am invited to eat. I will not depend on you (my employer) for any emotional or physical needs.


As the Housekeeper/Nanny:

Job description

Job Hours: 7am – 8:30pm Monday thru Sunday

Job Pay: Free room & board, invitational meals only and health benefits

Job Expectations: Arrive on time, dressed appropriately with clean hygiene

Job Benefits: Medical, Dental, Behavioral and Prescription insurance provided but Sick & Personal Days are authorized /allowed.

Job Purpose: Maintains house and bedrooms by cleaning, dusting, vacuuming, and polishing. Washing, folding and providing linen services are also required. Provides care to employers children; loving, teaching and keeping them safe. Keeps employer satisfied whatever the cost.

Duties: * Maintains cleaning schedule priorities by following room assignment list; servicing rooms requesting early cleaning first.

•Checks beds daily by replacing sheets as needed including pillow cases, checking blankets and bedspreads for soiling; replacing soiled items.

•Removes miscellaneous debris by removing trash, newspapers, dishes, toys and other household clutter.

•Refreshes bath area by cleaning tub, toilet, and sinks; removing used towels and bathmats; replacing bath linens. Also restocking toiletries and stationery supplies as needed.

•Cleans floors by sweeping, mopping (or vacuuming) all floors.

•Maintains furnishings by dusting and polishing furniture; cleaning and polishing glass surfaces.

•Conserves energy by closing shades and draperies; turning down air conditioning and heat.

•Cleans kitchen (including dishes, counters, stove, trash and floors) daily

•Maintains safe, secure, and healthy learning environment for employers children.

•Provides long-term care for children- up to 16 hours a day, 7 days a week in Casual / modest dress attire.

•Feeds children 3x a day, 7 days a week- this includes shopping, preparing and serving nutritious meals

•Potty trains children throughout the day and changes diapers as needed.

*Drives school aged children to and from school as needed

•Light ironing and mending of clothing may be required

•Supervising baths and other water activities

•Amusing the children by reading and taking them on outings once a week.

•Updates children daily on learning activities by providing them educational opportunities.

•Accepting ownership for accomplishing new and different requests; exploring opportunities to add value to job accomplishments.*

*(THIS CAN INCLUDE but not limited to SEXUAL ADVANCES, FAVORS and other pleasurable acts the employer may wish to use you for.)

Skills/Qualifications: Dependability, Quality Focus, Thoroughness, Lifting, Housekeeping, Independence, Listening, Verbal Communication, Loving but firm to children, Respectable but flexible to employers wishes.

Sign Below to accept the above JOB as the Housekeeper/Nanny

X __________________________________________________
(signing above commits your intent to stay with this employer until he terminates you. Resigning is NOT an option)

EDIT: I has not given this to my husband and I don't believe I ever will. But I do want to explain that writing this was very therapeutic because I am finally allowing myself to come out of denial. Blogging this JOB as a WIFE is not meant to be shared with anyone- but also, at the same time, shared with anyone who feels the same way. Perhaps my way of coping might help another wife cope as I learn THIS is how my marriage has been for awhile now.

I'm starting this blog because...

I recently lost my job and to me, it was a devastating blow. But to my husband it was the end-of-the-world. Every day, I did my best to think positively and see the world in a new light, knowing I had an opportunity to learn from my mistakes and think of this as doors OPENING rather than closing.

Although- with each day of unemployment, things got worse- not better. My husband couldn't STAND that I wasn’t working and gave hints & demands that I start doing more at home until I find a new job.

HA! Find a new job!?!? I've been trying for WEEKS! But I guess he’s right… Being a housewife IS my new job now. I better get to work.

So- I started this blog to release my frustrations. Never sharing it with anyone- (in fear of judgment) I just needed to feel special in my own right… and facebook, was too public.