New Beginnings...
My husband and I have discussed our current financial situation and have decided that it would be best for me to QUIT my job and just stay home with the kids. My job as a receptionist wasn't providing enough income for me to drive 18 miles each way at $3.76 a gallon. PLUS, $180 a week in daycare was CHEAP, but still not cheap enough to make my entry-level wage 'worth it'.
After much heart ache, guilt and soul searching- I found myself looking FORWARD to staying home with my kids, even if it did mean I'd have to say goodbye to some really great friends.
One of those recently acquired new friends is Jade. She's funny, smart and got a lot of spunk. She's very insightful but most of all, she's got a heart of gold and LOVES to be that 'listening ear'. I asked her one day, if she would be interested in being my 'Life Coach' as I embark on this new journey of being a SAHM. (Stay at Home Mom) She seemed thrilled and gave me some homework to do, right away.
Below is her list of questions- paired with my answers. As much social networking as I already do, I'm sure it will be a surprise for you to know that I don't want to share this with EVERYONE. Not even my own husband, really. You should feel SPECIAL that I've chosen to share this with you! I'm writing this BLOG in place of writing a journal- I think of it like my own little journey mixed with struggles, triumphs and personal growth. So because I don't plan on plastering these personal thoughts to my facebook page- I request that you respect my wishes by not making this BLOG info PUBLIC.
Now- back to my homework...
I confessed to Jade that I was very nervous about being a housewife. Instead of agreeing - Jade asked me what my goals were and had me share with her what I feared the MOST about being a SAHM. To be honest, I've always been 'told' that I'm a slob, I'm lazy and I could never have a decently clean house on a regular basis because of my inherited NEED to be cluttered. Through the years, I've learned- that just because I USED to be this 'Crystal' before- doesn't mean I ALWAYS have to be this way- I DO have a choice and I can choose something new EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't have to be stuck the the tenancies I've always had- I can choose new habits and new routines WHENEVER I FEEL like it!
So, here are Jade's questions (in blue) to help guide me to the next step of my goals. (And my answers are in Black.)
1) How do you want your house to look?
a. I want it to be clean and clutter free when anyone (including myself) walks through the front door
b. I want my dishes to always be done and the counters to always be clear
c. I want my floors to vacuumed and clean of any food/dirt messes
d. I want my bathrooms to be clean enough to eat off the toilet seats & floors. J
e. I want the bedrooms to be organized enough to have family visit and I’m not embarrassed if they choose to stay the night.
f. I want my ‘clutter’ boxes to be gone through and organized and no longer on my ‘to-do’ list
2) Why is it important to you and what does it mean to you to have your house look that way?
a. To have a house THIS clean is important because I want to be proud in my home
b. I want to feel less ‘shamed’ of myself and my abilities when I have visitors come over
c. I want my husband to be proud of me and his home
d. I want my kids to learn the value of living in a clean and clutter free home
e. I want to be able to take day-to-day pictures of my family without having the ‘mess’ behind them
f. I want my mother and father in-law to have ONLY great things to say about me
3) What do you feel are the standards others have?
a. Other people have advised to me that I should just ‘clean-as-I-go’
b. 'Not eat in any room other than the dining area'
c. 'Pick up the toys, etc every evening before bed'
d. ''Detail clean every weekend'
e. 'Get the whole family to help out/chores lists etc'
f. 'Don’t allow distractions (like TV/computer/etc) to be an ‘excuse’. '
4) Why do you want your house to look to the standards of others?
a. I agree with their standards, I just have not yet accomplished them myself
b. I don’t want to feel like the ‘dirty’ one of the family anymore, I want to challenge myself to be better
c. I want respect from others so when I ask for trash to be taken out or a bedroom to be cleaned up it won’t be questioned.
d. I like knowing that if I've done my best at the end of the day, then I KNOW I deserve all the little fun things that I normally want anyway.
e. I want to feel like a mature woman, not a lazy teen anymore.
f. I want others to think of me in the highest regards, without disgust or judgement.
5) In three columns list answer the following:
List everything that you feel needs to be cleaned in detail (even if it’s a really long list. For example if an item on your list is that you want the kitchen to consistently have clean counters, what does that mean to you? How much or how little does that entail? Clean counters, put away dry dishes, wipe the faucet off, wipe off all the appliances, clean the stove, etc…)
6) List WHY that is important to you. Either on the whole (clean the counters) or with each detail (put away dishes). However much you feel you need.
7) List what steps you are going to do in order to help yourself feel and keep the motivation to do each item on your list.
Everything that Needs to be clean (in detail)
*PICK UP THE CLOTHES OFF THE BEDROOM FLOOR * CLEAN UP JIM’S CLOTHING CORNER * CLEAN UP THE ITEMS IN FRONT OF JIM’S DRESSER * CLEAN OFF THE TOP OF MY CLOTHING CABINET * CLEAN UP THE BEDROOM CLOSET * SCRUB THE MASTER BATHROOM TOILET * CLEAN THE TOILET ROOM * CLEAN THE SHOWER * ORGANIZE THE BATHROOM CABINETS * CLEAN THE SINK & MIRRORS IN THE MASTER BATHROOM * ORGANIZE THE CLUTTER ON THE COUNTER * TIDY UP THE WHITE SHELVES OF THE MASTER BATHROOM * CLEAN UP THE KITTY TOWER AREA * CLEAN UP THE SHORT BROWN TABLE AREA IN THE LOFT * CLEAN UP THE TOP OF MY DESK * CLEAN UP THE BOTTOM OF MY DESK * ORGANIZE THE BOOK SHELF * CLEAN OFF THE TOP OF TREVOR’S DESK * UP THE FLOOR UNDER TREVOR’S DESK * CLEAN OFF BRANDEN’S DESK * CLEAN UP THE TUBS NEXT TO TREVOR’S DESK * CLEAN UP THE ITEMS BEHIND JIM’S DESK * CLEAN OFF THE LEFT SIDE TOP OF JIM’S DESK * CLEAN OFF THE MIDDLE TOP OF JIM’S DESK CLEAN OFF THE RIGHT SIDE TOP OF JIM’S DESK * CLEAN UP THE HALLWAY * CLEAN OFF THE STAIRS * PICK UP THE FRONT ROOM * CLEAN OFF THE PIANO * PUT ALL THE FISH STUFF AWAY * FIND A PLACE FOR THE EXTRA FISH STUFF * CLEAN UP THE CLUTTER NEAR THE BOXES/FRONT DOOR * TIDY UP ON TOP OF THE TV CENTER * CLEAN UP THE CORNER NEAR THE FRONT ROOM BOOKSHELF * CLEAN ON TOP OF THE BOOKSHELF * SCRUB THE DOWN STAIRS TOILET * CLEAN LITTLE KIDS POTTY CHAIRS * CLEAN THE SINK & MIRROR IN THE DOWN ST BEDROOM * TIDY UP THE SHELVES & CLEAN THE FLOORS IN THE DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM * CLEAN OFF BROOKLYN’S HIGH CHAIR * CLEAN OFF MATTHEW’S HIGHCHAIR * CLEAN OFF THE TALL COUNTER IN THE DINING ROOM * CLEAN UP THE CLUTTER ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE & CHAIRS * CLEAN UP THE CLUTTER IN THE BINS * CLEAN UP THE CLUTTER IN THE BOXES IN THE DINING ROOM CORNER* CLEAN UP THE CLUTTER ON TOP OF THE SCRAPBOOKING DRESSER * ORGANIZE THE TOP LEFT SHELVES IN THE DINING ROOM * ORGANIZE THE BOTTOM LEFT SHELVES IN THE DINING ROOM * ORGANIZE THE RIGHT SHELVES IN THE DINING ROOM * PICK UP THE STUFF UNDERNEATH THE DINING ROOM TABLE * CLEAN OFF THE STOVE IN THE KITCHEN *CLEAN OUT THE MICROWAVE AND TOASTER OVEN * CLEAN UP THE LEFT COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN * CLEAN OFF THE RIGHT COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN * CLEAN OUT THE SINK IN THE KITCHEN * CLEAN OFF THE FAR RIGHT COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN * CLEAN OFF THE FAR LEFT COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN * TAKE OUT THE TRASH AND CLEAN UP THE FLOOR AROUND THE TRASH CAN * SWEEP AND MOP THE KITCHEN FLOOR * ORGANIZE THE BOTTOM SHELVES ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE PANTRY * ORGANIZE THE TOP SHELVES ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE PANTRY * ORGANIZE THE BOTTOM SHELVES ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE PANTRY * ORGANIZE THE TOP SHELVES ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE PANTRY * CLEAN OUT THE FRIDGE & FREEZER IN IT’S ENTIRETY * CLEAN OUT THE POTS & PANS CUPBOARD * CLEAN OUT THE GLASS & PLASTIC CUPBOARD * CLEAN OUT UNDERNEATH THE SINK * CLEAN OUT THE APPLIANCE CUPBOARD * CLEAN OUT THE BOWLS & KIDS PLATES CUPBOARD * CLEAN UP THE LAUNDRY ROOM FLOOR * ORGANIZE THE CLEANERS ON THE TOP SHELVES OF THE LAUNDRY ROOM * CLEAN OFF THE TOPS OF THE WASHER & DRYER * CLEAN OUT THE JUNK BETWEEN THE WASHER & DRYER * PICK UP THE ROCK BAND STUFF NEAR THE BACK DOOR * CLEAN UP THE TOYS IN THE BACK YARD * CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN IN THE BACK YARD * GET RID OF THE STUFF ON THE BACK YARD SHELVES * CLEAN UP THE GARBAGE AND JUNK ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE * CLEAN UP THE WEEDS & DEAD TREE IN THE BACK YARD * CLEAN UP THE GATED AREA IN THE BACK OF THE HOUSE * SWEEP THE BACK PATIO & PICK UP THE GARBAGE * CLEAN UP THE MIDDLE OF THE GARAGE * CLEAN UP THE LEFT SIDE OF THE GARAGE * CLEAN UP THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE GARAGE * SCRUB DOWN THE GARAGE FRIDGE * FIX THE BLINDS IN THE FRONT WINDOW * TIDY UP THE FRONT PORCH AREA * CLEAN UP THE FRONT YARD/ROCKS AREA * WIND UP THE HOSE IN THE FRONT YARD * WASH JIM’S CAR * WASH MY CAR * CLEAN OUT MY CAR * VACUUM MY CAR * PUT THE TIRE BACK ON MY CAR * HAND WASH THE WINDOWS TO JIM’S CAR * CLEAN UP THE BOYS BATHROOM, TOILET, SHOWER, FLOOR, TRASH & FOOD * CLEAN UP THE SINK AND MIRROR OF THE BOYS BATHROOM * CLEAN UNDERNEATH THE BOYS BATHROOM SINK * CLEAN UP MATTHEW’S ROOM * CLEAN UP MATTHEW’S CLOSET * ORGANIZE MATTHEW’S SHELVES * CLEAN UP BROOKLYN’S ROOM * CLEAN UP BROOKLYN’S CLOSET * PUT AWAY THE STUFF ON TOP OF BROOKLYN CLOSET SHELVES* ORGANIZE BROOKLYN’S SHELVES * WASH THE WALLS IN BROOKLYN’S ROOM * CLEAN UP BRANDEN’S ROOM * CLEAN UP TREVOR’S ROOM.
A: Daily Cleaning List B: Why this is Important to me C: Steps I'm going to Take
1a. Kitchen cleaned
1b. So my husband can feel comfortable cooking when he gets home
1c. Make it my #1 goal to complete on a daily basis
2a. Front room cleaned
2b. So it's always welcoming when people walk in the door
2c. Make it a fun chore for the kids to help me keep the toys picked up
3a. Dining Room/Counters
3b. Because if these are not kept clutter free- my house won't look completely clean
3c. Once #1 and #2 are done, it will be my goal to keep these up daily
4a. One Load of Laundry
4b. Because several loads at a time can be overwhelming where one load daily is more manageable
4c. Sort, Wash, Dry, Fold/hang and PUT AWAY!!!
5a. One 'WEEKLY' item
5b. Because breaking up the detail cleaning to once a week will help me not feel so overwhelmed
5c. Make a chart of 7 things I can clean on a weekly basis AND DO THEM!
8) What threats (from the SWOT) do you feel are going to stop your or prevent you from gaining or maintaining that motivation?
9) List what steps you are going to take after the threat has occurred that will help get you back on track. Threats- The so-called ‘threats’ may be ‘excuses’ but they are a reality of the obstacles I face.
1. Kids often ‘need’ me or want me to provide them with food, attention and entertainment. I feel that with some dedicated focus, I can do it ALL successfully.
2. I often allow laziness to get in my way by just saying ‘I’m tired’ or ‘I don’t feel like it right now’- this will be my greatest challenge to overcome.
3. I allow distractions (like TV/computer) to steal my day away- I’d rather just SHUT OFF the electronics and make it a productive day.
4. If I am standing & moving for too long, my sciatica will act up and it is very painfully for me to remain on my feet- however, with exercise & diet, this may improve
5. ME- I am great at organizing my time but I have not been great at FOLLOWING my game plan. With daily incentives, I might be able to improve on that.
