Monday, June 20, 2011

The Day that went to... POOP... literally!

So, this morning- I wake up and wouldn't you know it... Missy, our well behaved dog, had an ACCIDENT in our room. And not the wet kind, the lumpy brown, stinky kind. 4 chunks to be exact. This was starting to be the opposite of what I wanted for this Father's Day morning.

About an hour later- Brooklyn wakes up... Jim goes into her room to find, poop? No, throw up. I now know what the kids ate at Gramma's house yesterday- 'cause it's all over her bed... chunks of corn! Ewww! It's on the sheet, her spongebob pillow, her blankets- ugh. Normally, I'd kindly ask Jim to help- or he starts to help right away. But with today being father's day, I calmly tell him that I've got it. He can just relax today.

I hold Brooklyn's hand as we walk to my bathroom. I slowly take off her nasty pj's and tell her to get into the shower. She loves taking showers instead of baths because she likes my 'smell good' body wash.

We get a towel on her and walk into her bedroom, (I tell her to go downstairs but she insists on helping me.) We scoop up spongebob and the sheet behind him and wrap him up. Brooklyn carries him with her arms stickin straight out- I laugh 'cause it looks like spongebob is in a body bag... (I'd die too if I had a little girl puke CORN CHUNKS all over me!)

As the day goes on, Brooklyn has an accident in her pants. She can't seem to hold back the free-flowin #2's very well. Again, more corn chunks- This is BIG MESS #2! (back to the shower we go!)

Of course, showers aren't the only way to clean up ALL the mess... Brooklyn and I take her nasty clothes to the washer, 2nd load of the day.

Laundry load #3 was GOING to be work clothes- but this load was intercetped by miss Brooklyn again. She had ANOTHER COOPY accident (corn + poopy = coopy) and so we did our whole shower process all over again.

Later on, Jim asks- "Crystal, did you go to the bathroom last? It looks REALLY bad in here."
I get up and go look. The bathroom is flooded with water- the toilet is overflowing with nasty brown water and chunks of... you guessed it, CORN!

I knew it wasn't Brooklyn 'cause since her last accident- she's been wearing a pull up. That leaves only one other corn eatin critter: MATTHEW!

I grab every not-so-clean towel in the laundry basket and I bring them downstairs to start cleaning up the flood. After all, it IS father's day- why should I make him clean ANY of it up? (At least, that's the kind of 'day-off' I would hope for on Mother's Day.)

Matthew (of course) didn't help 'cause he didn't MEAN to flood the toilet- and besides, what kind of help could he provide? Brooklyn however, tried to help and just ended up pickin corn off the toilet seats as I could see her eyes grow to the realization of what it was. "PUT THAT DOWN BROOK! IT'S POOP!" She looked at me puzzled and said, "It's KONE MOM!" "No, it's not corn, it's poopy corn, it's nasty- put it down!" She throws it down on the floor and starts to head out the door... "egh egh eghhhh- not before you wash your hands young lady!"

Clean Miss Queen of Corn up and I get the toilet bowl cleaner, I'm scrubbin with the toilet brush- I'm washin with clorox wipes I'm feelin pretty darn good about this toilet and it's cleanliness. Then all of a sudden, I take a whiff and I can still SMELL it! Ugh. As a woman, I rarely lift the toilet seat as it is- so I lift it up realizing I hadn't got to that part yet and what do you know... BROWN slosh and YELLOW CORN all over the brim of the underseat!!! Ugh! I wanted to puke right then and there.

but I just held my breath and powered through it.

ahh- that's better... Sparkly and shiny-I was so happy to get it done. Hoping my 'poopy' day was finished.

But no, not until I went to switch over the laundry did I realize I wasn't completely finished with the darn KIDS & their CORN! I was surprised that (but yet, I wasn't... not with the kind of day I was having) our washer WASHED the clothes and bedding of the poop- but it couldn't even rinse the corn down the tiny holes. I stare into the washer for a moment and almost froze in deep thought - pondering what to do with all this 'washed-up corn'.

Eventually, I snap out of my gaze- I shrugged my shoulders and said to my self, "eh- it may have been POOPY CORN at one time, but it's CLEAN CORN now!"

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